NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel . The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
This is a nice article I got as an email. I thought its better to share it with you all.....
Monica married Nick this day . At the end of the wedding party, Monica's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook with Rs. 1000 deposit amount.
Mother: 'Monica, take this passbook . Keep it as a record of your marriage life . When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in . Write down what it's about next to the line . The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in . I've done the first one for you today . Do the others with Nick . When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had . '
Monica shared this with Nick when getting home . They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made . This was what they did after certain time:
* 7 Feb: Rs . 100, first birthday celebration for Nick after marriage * 1 Mar: Rs . 300, salary raise for Monica * 20 Mar: Rs . 200, vacation trip to Bali * 15 Apr: Rs . 2000, Monica got pregnant * 1 Jun: Rs . 1000, Nick got promoted * . . . . . and so on . . .
However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things . They didn't talk much . They regretted that they had married the nastiest people in the world . . . . no more love . . . Kind of typical nowadays, huh?
One day Monica talked to her Mother: 'Mom, we can't stand it anymore . We agree to divorce . I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!"
Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal . Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it . But before that, do one thing first . Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first . You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage . '
Monica thought it was true . So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account . While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record . She looked, and looked, and looked . Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind . Her eyes were then filled with tears . She left and went home .
When she was home, she handed the passbook to Nick, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce .
The next day, Nick gave the passbook back to Monica . She found a new deposit of Rs . 5000 . And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years . How much happiness you've brought me . '
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe . Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask . I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life .
"When you fall in any way, don't see the place where you fell instead see the place from where you slipped . Life is about correcting mistakes . "